[Practical Stoicism #19] Can you really control your judgments, impulses, and desires?
Hi,
Humans are conscious beings, and we can deliberately focus our minds. As we can decide what to think about or not think about, we experience some control over our lives.
However, when I started to meditate, I quickly became aware that I have very little control over what pops up in my head. In meditation, I intend to focus on my breath, but within ten counts, I will have wandered off mentally. There is nothing I can do to prevent this. All I can do is return my focus to my breath, only to be distracted again a few seconds later.
Even when we fully understand the dichotomy of control, we may face mental disturbances. According to Epictetus, we have control over our judgments, impulses, and desires. While that is true, it takes an awful lot of training to get there.
Nowadays, the dichotomy of control is drilled in people's heads like a mantra. While this is good, many fail to see that working on your character happens by cultivating your mind. It's important to understand that your mind is a complex system over which you have limited direct control.
Journaling, voluntary discomfort (for example, fasting and cold showers), and meditation on the virtues are essential things. They are tools to train the mind, but we need to remember that training the mind takes a lot of time and effort. Fasting for ten days or journaling religiously won't make you a sage. They are ways to uncover the layers of your mind.
That is why I'm not only interested in Stoicism. I believe that combining parts of other wisdom traditions is useful. I'm not saying we should change the Stoic system, but even Seneca liked to use insights from the Epicureans to live a better life. We can do the same, and the fact we live in the Information Age only makes it easier.
In my philosophical practice, I like to include certain Buddhist wisdom. Sitting meditation is one of them, and Buddhist psychology has given me the language I needed to understand my mental state better. In the West, that understanding is usually reserved for academics, but Buddhist teachings make it accessible for laypeople.
Speaking of academia, I also like to dive into modern psychological research. I'm currently pursuing my second Bachelor's degree, this time in psychology (my first Bachelor's degree is in education). Apart from getting to know the nitty-gritty details of REBT and CBT, knowing the more basic things is extremely useful to lessen my ignorance. For example, by being aware of how certain situations affect us on a biological level—and not just a mental one—I can find better coping strategies and deal with others more effectively.
Being human and experiencing life keeps amazing me. Our consciousness is truly a precious thing, and understanding its nature is transformative. That's why I practice philosophy every day, but I also keep in mind that transformation takes time. A lot that happens in my mind is out of my control, but I can slowly change my habits. By not clinging onto the need for control, I can observe my automatic thoughts and feelings. I can then friendly nudge them in the right direction, but not before I have first fully experienced and accepted them.
Accept yourself, warts and all, and make an effort to be a bit better than you were yesterday.
Ramses
Ch-ch-changes
From this week forward, the format of the newsletter will change.
The first change is that I will now send the newsletter on Saturdays, so this week you will get two newsletters. While this is to accommodate my schedule, I hope you find the time on Saturday to relax more and ponder on philosophy. Drinking coffee while thinking about philosophy is one of my Saturday joys, so let's see if we can enjoy this together.
Next, the newsletter won't be themed anymore. Maybe you haven't noticed, but each week I try to center the newsletter around a theme that's prominent in Stoicism. I then search for related content that I find useful. However, this doesn't seem to be the best approach, as I often struggle to find quality content that connects with the week's theme. Instead, I will now share any content that caught my attention and that I found useful for my Stoic practice.
Let me know what you think of these changes. I'm open to all feedback :-)
Wisdom around the web
This week I found some gems that touch on what I've written in the introduction of this newsletter. I'm happy to see there is an increased interest among Stoics in psychology, and some Buddhist practices find their way into the lives of Stoics as well. We all face unique challenges and different teachings resonance with different personalities. We are no sages, so we need all the help we can get. I hope you enjoy the content below as much as I did.
Stoic Psychology 101—Impressions, Assent, and Impulses
While titled Stoic psychology 101, Massimo goes quite deep into how ancient Stoics understood human emotions. It's a bit of a technical article, but well worth the read. He answers questions like:
What are impressions?
What are passions?
What is the difference between disruptive emotions (pathe) and constructive emotions (eupatheiai)?
He ends with an explanation of the core of Stoic psychology:
impression > assent > impulse (something I wrote about some months ago).
Mapping Your Mind: The Original Buddhist Psychology
Most people in the West only know a bit about Buddhism through the mindfulness practices that became popular in recent years. However, for centuries Buddhist monks have done research (through meditation) into the workings of the human psyche. The conclusion now that we have modern psychological research? The monks were quite accurate!
This article explains the concept of Abhidharma, which is the Buddhist study of psychology. It's interesting to see there is an overlap with Stoicism, showing we can learn from different philosophies.
"But for me, the bottom line is that the Abhidharma helps you be more consonant with reality so that you're moving with the variables of your own existence in a more harmonious way. Not looping back, not fixating and getting stuck on your associations, but moving with the immediate perceptions that are in front of you and around you. To me, that is the essential ethical basis of it.
Western psychology and Buddhism ultimately say the same thing: don't get stuck, don't go backward, don't retrigger. There are so many different terms for that."
How Stoicism Can Help Both Introverts and Extroverts
Being an introvert myself, being social is not my default behavior. I have to go out on a limb to take an interest in others. For me, it's easier to think through things on my own than to engage in conversation with others. However, this is not what Stoicism teaches, as it's an inherently social philosophy that posits we are social beings.
After practicing Stoicism for several years now and making an effort to connect with others, I see the value of being social. I'm happier because I get to help others, but also because others help me when I'm stuck in unhealthy thought patterns or behavior. Through dialogue, I learn a lot about myself.
This article by the excellent What Is Stoicism? website uncovers where extroverts and introverts typically lack and gives valuable advice on what we can do to improve our character in those areas.
Stoa: Stoic journal prompts via email
My friend Caleb Ontiveros keeps working on his awesome app, Stoa. Not only does he provide Stoic lessons, interviews with Stoics, and daily meditations (in collaboration with Massimo Pigliucci), he also launched a free service that sends you a daily writing prompt by email. The service enables you to reply with your journal entry, which is then securely saved in your account. This way, you are triggered to journal daily and make it effortless.
Book recommendation: Stoicism and Western Buddhism by Patrick Ussher
Patrick Ussher caught my eye a while ago when I read his article titled The Philosophy of Stoic Mindfulness. Soon after, I bought his book Stoicism and Western Buddhism and was amazed at how much overlap there is between Stoicism and Buddhism. Notably, the practice of mindfulness (prosoche in Stoicism) is something that many Westerners find useful. If you are interested in Stoicism and Buddhism, get this book!